A Leap Of Faith
by Jessickuh.duh
Summary: I just had a sudden need to write a fic after watching Monday night's episode of Gossip Girl and after having a few days to think about what I want for Chuck and Blair. Rated T for some possible stuff later on. Chapter 1 is up.


Chapter 1: Serena's POV

_I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.  
~Gilda Radner_

"So how are things where you live?" Serena asked her friend Blair, who was obviously not paying attention to her gush about Aaron.

"Um, fine." Blair replied while staring into the steet.

"Blair! Are you even listening to me?" Serena asked as she waved a hand in front of the brunette's face.

"Yes."

"Liar." Serena smiled, teasing her friend.

Blair's been different lately, an unusual sadness always in her eyes. Serena knew why, and didn't want to push so she would let the occational thing slip when they were together. Serena understood too well the pain that came with not being with someone you love. But this was not the same thing with Blair and Chuck that it had been with her and Dan. Her and Dan had actually had a relationship, they had their shot. Chuck and Blair never really did. Serena laughed to herself silently. It was kind of funny is you think about it. Normal couples begin a relationship, say 'I love you' than have sex. But nope, not Chuck and Blair. No, the kind and queen of disfunction did it all backwards. They had sex first, and than tried to trick each other into saying 'I love you' than, from what Serena gathers from Blair's side of the story, after they finally say those three words will be in a relationship. Whenever that was, no one knew.

It was all so confusing to Serena, but one thing she did know was her best friend was hurting. She had finally realized that she loved Chuck Bass. And that terrified her more than anything ever had in her life. It wasn't like with Nate, them being together since they were young, it gave them time to get used to being in love. Had years to know and trust each other. To feel completly safe. Loving Nate was easy, until the very end that was. Loving Chuck was anything but. Blair had always been about power, no matter what the situation Blair had always somehow managed to take control. But somehow within the past few weeks that had changed. There was no such thing as control when it came to Chuck for her, not anymore. Which is why she set up some ground rules while she waited for Chuck to finally decide he was ready to take the step. Blair already knew she was, she had realized it the moment Chuck kissed her goodbye. She didn't want him to leave, she didn't want to wait to be with him. She just wanted him, plain and simple. But nothing with Chuck was ever simple.

"Sorry, S." Blair smiled up at her. "you were saying."

"Nothing, it's not important. So how're you?"

What do you mean?"

"Things with Chuck any better?'

"What do you mean?" she asks a second time.

"So what? Are you guys like friends now?"

"No. I don't know. I don't know anything. All I know is I've been really stressed out lately and all this talk about Chuck isn't helping to calm my nerves." she snapped.

"Sorry B, it's just I'm a little confused. You guys aren't your usual mean selves to each other, so I can't help but thing you guys are on friendly terms?"

"I guess. I mean we don't really talk or anything. It's sort of not complicated right now and I want to keep it that way."

"Come on, B. This is you and Chuck we are talking about, things never stop being complicated with you two. I'm sure you two would find a way to make simple addition seem like quantum physics."

"Wow S, quantum physics, such a big word. Did Mr. Artboy buy you a thesauras?"

"She jokes." Serena smiled at her friend and gave her shoulder a sqeeze.

"You gave me an opening I couldn't resist." Serena glanced at her watch.

"Well school awaits, shall we?"

"We shall." the girls linked arms and made their way to finish the school day.

Serena knew no better way to help make Blair feel better than to take her shopping. So three hours and 6 stores later the girls were in Serena's room trying on the new clothes they had bought. Serena noticed Blair was a bit tense, guessing it was the nervousness of possibly running into Chuck. So far what she got from the situation is this. Chuck and Blair we're on friendly terms, but not friends. But they weren't fighting either. It was an uneasy calmness, Serena wasn't used to it and it made her nervous. She knew it wouldn't last, not with these two. Especially not after they told each other, only not in words, that they loved each other. It was nice to have them finally admit it without looking to gain anything. But it was also sad because it didn't change anything. As much as Serena knew Blair wanted it to, it didn't. Chuck was not ready to be the man Blair needed, or so he though. Seren thought different, she saw him clearly for the first time last week and what she saw was someone who was ready, but too afraid to actually take the plunge. She just wished she could shake the two of them and let them see, that while it's the most terrifying thing either of them have even done. It would be worth it. She looked at her friend, tried to see what she was thinking. Only to be met with big sad brown eyes, it kind of broke Serena's heart.


End file.
